Let’s skip Christmas and head right on to the anniversary

DH and I were married 8 years ago today. I love my man. He is sensitive, clever, empathetic, funny, kind and makes me a better human being. I am filled with love for him.

This year we’re in a difficult financial position, caused mainly by my inability to get a job. We could lose the house (unlikely – I’ll become an UBER driver before I let that happen). But I’m serious. We are in a very bad way, not made any easier by the fact that even though my husband APPEARS to earn a lot, in fact we see less than 40% of his gross income after taxes, child support and voluntary superannuation contributions are taken out.

Like most folks with a good income, we have lived pretty well. And I’ve been a little bit careless financially. We’ve bought each other expensive gifts, travelled a lot, drunk lovely wine and real French champagne and I’m happiest when I’m buying presents for other people. But now all of this has dried right up. We have some big bills that I thought would be paid out by a windfall tax return, but some of that was garnished by the government for back-pay of child support. Just a note here: we pay $1000 a fortnight to his ex-wife who has primary care of his two children. We also pay half of the school fees and all of their phone bills. That would be fine if I were working, but I am not, and it’s now impacting on our ability to pay for things like health insurance, car payments, house and car insurance, council rates, electricity, phone, utilities and credit card bills. And food.

So Christmas was a little bit impacted by our dire need to slash spending immediately. We managed to have a lovely day, though, with turkey, trimmings and a pavlova for dessert.

This year DH and I can’t afford to do anything special for our anniversary. But here’s the rub. Every year our Christmas gifts to each other have been getting more and more extravagant, as if we are trying to best the previous years’ efforts. Last year was the craziest yet with the gift of a beautiful Kitchen Aid bench mixer, and my DH is so good and lovely to me – he just wants to make me happy. This year our gifts were less over the top. I still got some lovely perfume and a spa pamper day, and DH received a book and a blingy shaving mirror, but all of a sudden we have put the brakes on our spending. And this is a good thing. We have a beautiful bathroom and WIR, and this is enough for me.

Today there were no gifts to commemorate our anniversary. Just a small bunch of long-stemmed roses, cards, a day spent in each other’s company and a reshaping of our pantry area and the Oh Jesus room*. Tonight we’re going to a cheap and cheerful pub for dinner followed by a movie. We’re seeing the latest James Bond film Spectre. And you know? I think this is the best anniversary day of all.

Happy New Year everyone.


Happy Anniversary me!

Today marks 5 years since I began this blog. Wow. This blog reflects on my life in milestones over the last 9 years.

Why 9 years? Actually, it’s 9 years 3 months. Since I met my DH (Darling Husband). So much has happened since that time!

7 years 9 months since I was proposed to. 7 years and one month since I moved to Queensland. 7 years since we married.

7 years since I met some wonderful friends in QLD, forgoing my usual diffidence to make some lovely, ongoing connections.

7 years and 1 month since I began my singing teaching and consulting business. And 7 years since I’ve successfully maintained it. 7 years since I met our accountant. Who is awesome.

6 years since I started working as a sessional lecturer.

6 years since my son began dating his current girlfriend.

It’s 5 years 9 months since I began my PhD. 22 months since I went part-time. 1 month, 5 days since I submitted it and 10 days until assessors’ reports are due back (nervous, much?).

5 years, 9 months since I made 2 dear friends (RD and LG), sharing an office and solving the world’s music and education problems together.

3 years, 3 months since DH and I bought our first home together.

3 years since I started 1-2-1 singing teaching in Musical Theatre at the Qld Con.

2 years, 6 months since Boots the Beagle was killed outside our busy road.

2 years, 2 months since I went on a health jag and lost a truck load of weight. 1 year since I started copping out and putting it all back on again!

2 years since Poppy the Groodle was born and we adopted her into our lives.

18 months since I bought my new car.

1 year 3 months since my daughter came out to me as transgender.

1 year since I left Facebook.

10 months since my daughter came to live with us.

8 months since we decided to try and improve our house.

2 months since we got the money to do something about our house.

5 years of writing my thoughts in this blog. 19402 views, 192 comments, 122 followers. I curate my thoughts, you know. There’s plenty I don’t tell you, can’t tell and won’t ever tell you. But to my followers and friends who read this, thank you for your lovely words and gentle encouragement over the years as I wrangled my way through my PhD and many life issues throwing up the usual bum steers. You’ve been a wonderful audience.