Sheeeeit. Cain’t git in mah pants no more.

I was doing SO well.

That’s what happens when your long holiday lazy summer turns into permanent lay-a-bed-loucher-lady year.

Truth: haven’t been to the gym since September. Another truth: I’ve been laying about, watching A LOT of Netflix/ Stan. I’ve become very sedentary. More truth: I’ve been enjoying a few too many sticky buns, carbohydrates, sweet things and alcomohol. Still more truth: I actually don’t mind the way I feel physically – I’m not too tired, I’ve got enough energy (I think), and I can still walk the dog. I’m healthy. But dang it. My pants don’t fit anymore. And I’m NOT BUYING ANY MORE CLOTHES.

This is why I must get me back to the gym. Because it’s too expensive if I don’t go. Also, I discovered a double chin and my bras are getting tight. My boobs are my bellwether because they are the first thing to go when I lose weight and the very last thing to grow back when I’ve put weight on everywhere else. They are telling me it’s time. This is me below:

bellwether-sheep

Beached on the side of a mountain. Bellwether Boobs. That’s me.

I just want the weather to cool down: it’s so STEAMY here right now. I’m so sick of sweating even when I’m not moving. Truth be told I hate sweating even when I AM moving. Ugh.

I’m doing it. Come Saturday morning, I’m off to the gym. Just watch me. I can do this. (might need iron supplements and magnesium…and a big kick up the whatoosie.)

*Saturday edit: I never made it to the gym. Sad face.

 

 

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I bought new clothes!

I did it. A month earlier than planned, but I did it. I bought new clothes. One of the reasons for this is that I currently have 1 pair of jeans that fit me, 2 Bettina Liano jackets, jocks, socks and shoes. And that’s it. None of my other clothes fit. Not a jot.

I need new clothes. I really really do. When I moved to the bright, hot and sunny climes of Queensland 5 years ago, I bought lots of medium sized cotton shorts and t-shirts, all size 11 or 12. I was¬† about 6 kgs or 12 lbs heavier than I am now, and on my frame that makes a big difference to my waist size. I didn’t feel particularly large, but I wasn’t the slim me anymore.

Over the last 5 years I added another 5 kgs or 10lbs to my 5’5″ frame, and my dress size slowly crept up from an easy size 10 to an uncomfortable size 12. So when I went shopping for a summer dress at Christmas, I was thrilled to find I was back in a size 10. And none of the clothes I have bought since moving to Qld fit me. They are all cinched in at the waist, saggy round the bum, and frankly they just look too big.

Buying a few new clothes today made me feel really really good. I went in the department store, and I picked out size 10 and 8 clothes (size 8 and 6 in the US) and when I checked myself out in the mirrors, I looked hot. I really did. Normally those appalling lights in the dressing rooms pick out all the sags, folds, creases, lumps and bumps, but today I realised I don’t have too many of those any more! I have a waist, I have boobs, I have a round bum and curvy legs, and I have an hourglass figure again!

I’m looking forward to getting rid of even more fat but I’m so thrilled with where I’m at right now. I’m not super skinny but I’m no longer bulgy. I don’t have much of a muffin top, or back fat anymore. It’s a great feeling to feel so fit and strong, and know that I did this without taking diet pills or medication or starving myself on a really dumb diet.

Today, prior to shopping, I went to a yoga class, and I went swimming, and then I wandered round the mall for 3.5 hours with no makeup, wet hair and in my sad old gym clothes, AND I STILL LOOKED AND FELT GOOD. Funny how making my body a better house for my soul has made me feel happier, huh?!

Back to the grind, in every sense!

DH and I arrived home from our Christmas holiday and we’ve returned to the usual grind of New Year activities. Today, I’m talking about grind. The grindstone, hard work, honing and polishing and refining of New Year’s resolutions and other travails.

I’ve identified four main areas of grind for me. The first is, of course, my health and fitness. Like so many during this holiday season, I’ve eaten and drunk way too much, and I’ve done no more exercise than an elegant stroll down the beach. Well, ok, the stroll was 8 kms long. I’ve probably put on half a kilo, but I’ve stuck pretty well to a pared down diet, with dessert being the main culprit. DH and I were married 5 years ago December 28, right in the heart of the festive season, so all our revelries occur in one week. Cunning, huh. And, of course, far too much drinking. Less than I would have this time last year, but still! So it’s back on the diet wagon (and aren’t I relieved about that!) and I have my first personal training session tomorrow afternoon. Ugh. That’s gonna hurt.

The second grind is to complete the works on the house we’ve organised. For me, that means sanding and painting during VERY hot weather. It’s going to be vicious. But it’s important to get a start on it before our carpenter comes back to build the remaining fence.

The third grind, and probably the hardest, will be to start up my reading and writing for my doctoral thesis, which is due to begin again in February. I had a lovely break from it and I feel much better now, but it’s time to get cracking again. I tried some of it today and boy, all I wanted to do was get up off the computer and clean the house or literally do anything other than study. That was hard. But it’s a resolution I’ve made to myself to complete it this year, as expected. So I’m starting with my methods chapter, because I need to do the reading for Narrative Inquiry methods again, and start to shape the chapter from its rather bloated state at present.

The fourth grind, and one much easier to sustain, will be to begin my singing teaching again. I love my teaching and while I’m enjoying the holidays, I’m looking forward to developing my practice for the year ahead. My times are quickly filling up and then when uni starts: whew! It’s gonna be a challenge to maintain the study and the teaching, as I’ll be teaching about 30 hours per week. In fact, I have to do as much study as possible before teaching begins because it’s so hard for my brain to switch from one activity to the other. I’m dying to do some professional development n singing teaching but until I finish the PhD I won’t have the time – or the money! So I’ll have to content myself with some reading instead this year.

4 grinds. A big year ahead.