First time for everything

Yesterday DH (darling husband) left to go on a study trip overseas for two and a half weeks. It will be the longest time apart since we married. Secretly, I may have been looking forward to this break. It has been a tense couple of months, what with me getting frustrated and a little grief stricken about my PhD, and then DH’s job going from “this is pretty straightforward” to “oh holy shit, what just happened?”. DH has been working in a shared acting-director capacity for some weeks, since his boss decided to step down from his post as Grand Poobah. DH is exhausted, and his mind understandably only on work. That impacts on our family life, when tempers become frayed and coping mechanisms become less, well, coping.

So, I’ve been secretly looking forward to time out from US. Needing some time to get back into the groove of study, of preparing for the rest of the year, of doing some long overdue work on a book proposal. Last night was nice. I borrowed Season 4 of True Blood, bought some quaffing stuff, had the ice cream and Tim Tams (world’s best sweet biscuits) ready. Bed freshly made, house reasonably clean, all ready to go for my indulgent night of True Blood and a couch session. It was nice. Really. Just nice. Not great. Actually, I got a bit bored. This free and easy single life is a bit blah.

Now, as two and half weeks yawn ahead, I think perhaps all I needed was a few days, not weeks and weeks apart from DH. Luckily, I’ve prepared a few things to keep me going. Girl’s night tonight, more movies, take away food and some chatting. The weekend is an empty shell as yet, but Saturday and Sunday Yoga beckon, and perhaps a pamper day. Monday I work, visit a friend and then my darling son comes up to visit. Hooray! I’m still working next week, but evenings are clear and the following long weekend is looking really great. I think DS is in need of some time out from study and work commitments, so I don’t think lounging about in the city will bother him at all, and we may pop off to a beach somewhere for a relax.

DH is due to arrive back home in October, and by then I think I will have missed him terribly. We’ve momentarily lost the art of making time for each other. I’m a bit laissez faire and DH is frankly too busy. So it’s up to me to smooth the way for a happy return to form when he comes back. Sadly, I teach every evening until late, which prevents me from preparing food and stuff. So home life often feels a bit rushed and imposed-upon by students coming in and out of the house. Thursday was date-night, and until late this year was working well. But we forget. And we get busy. And sometimes, we do things that look and feel like date night but are really just work commitments masquerading as fun.

But sometimes it’s too easy to overlook the little things my husband does for me: the flowers he buys me; the mowing of the lawn, the coffee he makes me in the morning. The little things that remind me: I love him and he loves me and together we’re better than apart. Which is why, just two days into my so-called “freedom”, I’m rather longing for his presence.



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